User blog:MorganMatthews/Freaky Gwen Ben (Transcript)
[ Theme music plays] [ Mid-tempo music plays] [ Bird chirping] [ Creak, glass shatters] Grandpa Max: Nothing gets the blood going like a great swap meet. Grandpa Max: Ah, it reminds me of the Marrakech bazaars. Ben: Bizarre is right. Check this out. Grandpa Max: That's the spirit, Ben. Here. Ben: 10 bucks? Gwen: Each? Grandpa Max: Now go, reclaim your youth. Gwen: But we are youth. Ben: Well, I know what I'm getting -- this thing! Gwen: Ben, that's $2,000, and you only have $10. [ Rumbling ] Putting our money together was the best idea ever. Yeah, I mean, separately, We could've only afforded lame things, but together, we could buy a tank. Gwen: [ Gasps ] Ben! We can do that, too! we can get something super cool if we put our money together. Ben: Like this! Gwen: Uh... Ben: Now all we got to do is find the coolest thing at the swap meet. Hex: Where are they? Which of you insolent plebeians stole the Titan Gauntlets? I will find you, and you will pay. Aah! Hex: My tracking spell has revealed the gauntlets to be here. Do not withold them from me, you market swine! [ southern accent] Well, how do you do there, partner? I couldn't help but overhear you're looking for some fancy kind of gloves. This way, my friend. Hex: The Titan Gauntlets, you have them? And you need some boots, cowboy. Hex: You dare insult me? I do not want your filthy novelty boots! I seek the gloves of the titans -- Haphaestian artistry that amplifies the user's abilities one hundredfold! With these weapons, I will rule this earthly plane! Well, why didn't you say so? I've got just the things for earthly domination... fuzzy chaps. Hex: [ Roars ] Enough! No more games! [ Roaring ] [ Screams ] It ain't so tough. [ Grunts ] Okay, they're tough! They're tough! [ People screaming ] [ Panting, screaming ] Gwen: Ahh! Ben: How about this? Gwen: No, Ben, We need to find something we both agree on. Ben: Nope. Gwen: Ugh, weak. Ben: I said no spooky stuff! Gwen: Ben, come on. Stop it! Ben: Giving you gold every time. Gwen: [ Gasps ] Ben: Huh? Gwen: Attachable skates! [ Angelic choric vocalizing ] Ben: What? Gwen: And if you put our money together, we can just barely afford them. Ben: Yeah, nice for you, but I don't need skates when I got this. Gwen: Ben! Ben: [ Gasps ] Oh, man! Do you see what I see, Gwen? It's breathtaking! [ Angelic choir vocalizing ] Ben: It's a Sumo Slammer Slushifier machine! [ whirring ] Ben: Each slushie is the perfect embodiment of the Sumo Slammer spirit. Ben: [ Slurps ] Ben: [ Grunts ] Gwen: Ben! Are you okay? Ben: It even comes with original flavor packets! Woman: You have good eyes children, but perhaps you'd like to see something a little more powerful? Ben: What could be more powerful than the Sumo Slammer Slushifier machine? Woman: These. Gwen: Gloves? What's so special about them? Woman: They're, uh, lacrosse gloves -- very powerful. What do you think? Gwen: Skates please! Ben: Slushie machine! Grandpa Max: And not a penny more. Woman: Fine, you win! Grandpa Max: Laughs Gwen: I said no, Ben. Ben: It's a collectible! Gwen: Ugh! I'm not giving you money to buy rancid sugar water. Ben: Why don't you want me to be happy?! Grandpa Max: Now, what's going on here? Who's going to calmly try to explain this? Gwen: We were gonna take the money and put it together. Ben: She got the bright idea that we should combine our money. Gwen: But Ben will not take this seriously. Ben: But now she's -- [ Babbling ] Gwen: He finds all the most useless junk. Ben: Everything Gwen likes is healthy. Ben: Tell her she has to lighten up! Gwen: Tell him he has to be sensible! Grandpa Max: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whao. Take it easy. What you got to do is see eye to eye. Walk a mile in each other's shoes. Ben: Ugh. Grandpa. [ All screaming ] Grandpa Max: What in the world? [ People screaming ] [ Chomping ] Grandpa Max: Maybe we should get going. Hex: Why haven't you found them yet? [ Quacks ] [ Groans] Hex: Listen carefully. These are the Titan Gauntlets. They contain the power to raise mountains and flatten them back to the dust they came from to reshape the world. Ben: What's Hex doing here? Grandpa Max: Nothing good. Gwen: [ Gasps ] Those are the gloves from the booth with the skates! Ben: Oh, you mean the boots with my slushie machine? Gwen: No. Ben: Hero time! Gwen: Ugh! The gloves are this way. Hex: Leave no stone unturned! Hex: [ Grunting ] Diamondhead: Hey, Hex, I'm trying to buy a slushie machine here. [ Both roar ] Diamondhead: Whoa! [ Quacks ] [ Up-tempo music plays ] Diamondhead: Okay. Gwen: Diamondhead? Why didn't you pick someone more useful like Stinkfly or XLR8? Diamondhead: Look, sometimes you just have to work with what you get. Hex: Blast that watch! How far do I have to drop you to smash it off? Diamondhead: Let's not find out. Hex: I'll pry those rocks off you! Enough! Gwen: What was that? Aim for his magic book, then punch him. Wildvine's reach would work way better here. Diamondhead: Hey! I'm doing awesome, considering what I've got to work with. Gwen: See? You timed out already, and Hex is barely even scratched. If I were using the watch. We'd already be done. Ben: If you were using it, we'd have already lost! Hex: You know, Tennyson, I think you're absolutely right. [ Both groaning ] Grandpa Max: Gwen. Gwen? Are you okay? You took a real nasty tumble back there. Ben: Gwen? You got to get your eyes checked old man. I'm noooooooooo -- aah! Gwen: You're me?! Ben: You're me?! Gwen: But I'm you! Ben: But I'm you! [ Both scream ] Grandpa Max: Now, calm down. We'll figure this out. Gwen: What do you mean figure this out? Ben: We have to find Hex. Gwen: Well, what are we supposed to do? I can't use the watch. Ben: Probably succeed in record time because someone with more than half a brain is using it. Gwen: Great. Can't wait to see this. Ben: It can't be that hard if you've been managing it for this long. Grandpa Max: Hey, hey, We fight Hex, not each other. Ben: We've got to find those gloves before Hex does. Ben: Look. There's the shop. Let's hurry! Grandpa Max: All right, kids. Now, what do they look like? Ben: They had, like, weird gear-looking things on them -- like this. Gwen: No, they didn't. They had metal knuckles on each finger -- like this! Grandpa Max: You guys mean like these? $60? They better be pretty powerful for that kind of money. Woman: Oh, they are very powerful. It sounds like I'm dealing with a pro. How about $55? Grandpa Max: [ Chuckles ] I'm just getting warmed up. Gwen: Ben needs powers now. Thank you. Now we're talking. [ Whirring ] Hex: Huh? The gauntlets! Gwen: They're not the watch, but let's see what they can do. Super strength, check. Let's check something else. Flying. Not check. Okay, I can deal with super strength. Ben: You shouldn't goof around, Ben! Those are dangerous. Gwen: I use the watch all the time. I'm used to cosmic power. You, on the other hand... Ben: I'll be fine. Just watch. Greymatter! Four Arms: Whoa! Whoa! whoa! But -- but this isn't what I wanted. Gwen: Not so easy, huh? Four Arms: Let's just go find Hex. Whoa! Gwen: Gwen! Hex: Give me the gloves, child. Gwen: Eat fist, Hex! Hex: Aah! Four Arms: Ben, what do I do? Gwen: Just start punching! Four Arms: [ Grunting ] Gwen: Yeah! Ben: Yeah! Gwen: Nice shot, Gwen. Hex: Now the gloves will be mine! Gwen: Hey! Hex: [ Gasps ] I can feel it -- the power of a thousand gods coursing through my veins! [ Laughs maniacally ] Ben: This is bad. Gwen: The watch -- you got to use it. Ben: Ben, I can't, I'm terrible at it. Gwen: We can do it together. Ben: [ Sighs ] Okay. Let's do this. [ Beeping ] Upgrade: Upgrade? How is this supposed to help? Gwen: Just think of yourself like water. Upgrade: Whoa! How do I change back? Gwen: Think of yourself like a rock. Gwen: Yeah! That's it! Now get ready to fight Hex, 'cause I think he's gonna do something really bad. Hex: [ Roars ] Gwen: Yep. That was really bad. Upgrade: Those gloves are too powerful! Gwen: Ben has got an idea. Hex: The power -- it's so intoxicating! [ Laughs evilly ] Woman: He's gonna blow up the whole city! Gwen: Now! Hex: [ Laughs evilly] Upgrade: [ Beeping ] Hex: What is... Too powerful! I can't! No! Gwen: I'm out. Grandpa Max: Na-ma-la! Gwen: Nice, Grandpa. Grandpa Max: Ah, thanks. Now, to get you two switched back. Hmm. Um, hmm. "see...you...pa...pa...cho?" Uh... Hex: D'oh! You fool! Stop butchering my sacred spells. It's, "Seeyu pacho Torahktoh." Ohh. Ben: Wait. am I me? Back in our own bods! Look, sir, we don't know what you are, but throwing a swap-meet vendor across the country with your mind has got to break some kind of law. Gwen: I got to say, you were pretty great back there. Ben: Yeah, I am pretty great! Gwen: Hey! Ben: Aw, you did a pretty good job back there, too. Woman: You two are the champions of Swapapalooza. As heroes and as valued customers, I'd like to give you a token of my appreciation. Ah, and don't forget your original flavor packets. Grandpa Max: That's awfully generous of you. Woman: It's the least a simple vendor like myself could do. Farewell, children. Gwen: You know, cuz, we pull off some pretty cool stuff when we work together. Uh, this is burning my skin. Ben: Original flavor packets. Woman: This will be perfect. Ben: Okay, so, we have to start a campfire. Gwen: Usually, Grandpa Max does it. Ben: And it only takes him about three hours. We're gonna try using the power of -- uh, what do you call it, Gwen? Gwen: The art of light refraction. Ben: What she said. Diamondhead: Whoo! Hit it, Gwen! Gwen: [ Whirring ] Ben: Yes! Gwen: Yes! Grandpa Max: Ha, look at that, Impressive. Gwen: Right? Grandpa Max: Aah! [ All screaming ] Category:Blog posts